Next week I graduate/my fear of the next step

11 Jul

First of all, I’m going to make an effort to start updating this blog more regularly, or at least as regularly as I was when I started it. If nothing else, as I’ve said before keeping a blog is quite a good outlet to just get stuff off your chest.

So yes, this time next Thursday I will officially have graduated. I ended up with a 2:1 in the end and whilst I’ve written before that I hadn’t felt a sense of accomplishment from finishing my degree, I certainly feel more positive about it now.

My last post spoke about dealing with a rough patch but in all honesty I handled it better then I have done in recent times and at the moment I’m in a good place mentally – somewhat surprisingly I guess considering there are a fair few issues going on in my life at the moment. It is these issues that have drawn me back to this blog and what will keep me here as I go through them in the next few days.

At the moment one of my main concerns is crossing the threshold from the world of education into the world of work. Over the last few weeks I have identified a career path I would like to go down. It involves the skills I have as a writer and would be a good job to have whilst I continue working on my creative work alongside that. I have everything in place to start looking for entry level positions in this field but there is one fear that is holding me back.

Unsurprisingly the fear I have is depression. I’m worried about the effect a bout of depression would have on me were I to be in employment. I worry about coping in that situation. I also constantly debate with myself if it is something I should disclose from the outset. I still view it as being weak to admit it openly and besides that, I worry about being stigmatised and my opportunities being limited if I were to disclose it.

It is something I have thought about a lot and yet am no closer to an answer.

 

If you happen to read this and feel you have any advice, please feel free to leave me a comment. fear-of-failure

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2 Responses to “Next week I graduate/my fear of the next step”

  1. leanne402 July 11, 2013 at 3:14 pm #

    Change your thinking. A bout of depression doesn’t mean the world will fall apart.
    Try saying positive affirmations morning and night;
    “I will do my best, and my best is good enough”
    “If I do experience depression, I am strong enough to get through it”.
    Also, have you tried WRAP plan? (Wellness and recovery action plan) do it when you’re in a good place. List the sights and symptoms for people close to you to look out for when you may be experiencing depression and what they will need to do to help and share this with them.

    And well done on your degree 🙂

    • vincentnorwood July 11, 2013 at 4:27 pm #

      I hadn’t heard of the WRAP plan. As for the positive messages, that is something I am trying to incorporate as I realise the impact positive thinking can have and the need to break the chain of negative thinking – which incidentally is a way of thinking that was alien to me until I went through the changes brought about by depression. I’ve already made other changes to my lifestyle so will add this as well.

      Thanks for the comment and advice.

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